Monday, June 6, 2011

this is where we find our peace

It has been less then five months since my last post. I would love to say I simply just forgot about this makeshift blog but things aren't always that simple. The second you lose all motivation to do something you enjoy you can propose a need for change. I had a rough patch, fell in love, had my heart broken, family issues, and digging myself in a huge hole in school. I would like to say I have resolved every little dilemma, but that would be false advertisement. I hope that I passed all my finals but until I am informed otherwise, HOLY SHIT, I'M A SENIOR! My last summer vacation, and then last year of high school. This is all so crazy to think about. The second I walk that stage, that's when life starts. I hope this summer is as eventful as my last. I will hopefully visit Carmel, and see the ones I left behind for stale air and rundown people. Well, this is all for now. I am going to make a whole new blog entitled, Gandhi And Jesus Are Homies. Check it out(:

Much love,

Friday, January 7, 2011

Chemical Colours Photography©

Here is some of my photography, not all of it but some of my favorites. I'll add to it every week so make sure to go look every once in awhile(: Let me know what you think!

Much Love,

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Hopeless Romantic..

Truth be told, I'm just a hopeless romantic.

Taking the time to try and cure your suicidal tactics.

Just for tonight I need to feel your vibrant embrace.

I love the smile that takes over my face,

When I drift of to sleep, lying next to you.

That night in January has helped me through,

all this misunderstood heart ache and pain.

I love the tone of your voice when you say my name.

This may be pointless, but what have I got to lose?

I'll keep on fighting until I reach you.

Fuck it may be a journey to get where I need to go,

But I won't stop until you and everyone else knows.

I am "head over heals," frostbitten, hopeless, and stiff.

I exhale hoping you don't give up on me like everyone else did.

Your one in a million, which may make my chances a million to one.

But there are at least two good reasons loaded in this gun.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Am I ever going to get out of this cavern?
I keep climbing begging for the worse not to happen.
I'm afraid if I pause even for a breath,
I'll be buried in all this deceit disguised as death.
I see the sun, it burns my optic view.
The radiance warms a perception that is new.
I feel so close, but the light starts to fade away.
I climb faster praying to once again see the light of day.
I will never get out of the despair.
I wear it like a mask beneath my profuse hair.
I strive for things to be the way they used to be.
I keep on fighting for a hope of you coming back to me.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Loneliness kills.

I break away from this self made comfort zone.
There will never be a force that can make it have a comfortable tone.
This awful pain pierces right through me, leaving no trace behind.
I've already took my fair share of bruises, lumps and immature remarks of every kind.
After tonight I am not so convinced that there is ever going to be a feeling of being whole.
This awkward loneliness has never truly left my soul.
One look at you and I knew this had to amount to something more.
Who am I even kidding? I am the homicidal maniac and you are the proud whore.
I am dying to see what lies beyond the flames in your eyes.
The chaos of uncertainty and scars they have left behind.
The way you produce these thoughts that raid my endless mind.
It has me in realization that I am addicted to the way you make me feel.
The way your bruises and bite marks never seem to heal.
Until we can meet again I keep my breaths on hold.
Only for a new chapter that has yet to be untold.

Chemical Colours....

I am still alive, even if its just for tonight.
I can feel the pulse all around me.
You dance in the vibrations of the ministry.
This monstrosity, it eats at me.
Like chemicals eat away the colours in your eyes.
I have to go, don't act like you don't see.
Don't act like you don't see the truth behind these beautiful lies.
This electricity, it paralyses me.
Don't let go, I'm still alive.
Lost in a trance of a bulletproof delight.
I can see the storm pass through the dosage.
I can see a passage through your trust.
Ten minutes 'till there is nothing left, just gold dust.
These chemical colours are eating at my only need to survive.
We can still save us, we can still save me.
Reach to the sky, I am still alive.
Let's make them see, things aren't always what they appear to be.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


Some words are so hard to swallow.
After my fourth shot these actions are getting harder to follow.
I was stupid; I made a fool of myself.
When I passed out by the toilet, and spewed my health.
It was the best night, laying there talking our cares away.
Shit happens, tomorrow will be a new day.

Now I'm barely seventeen, got a glimmer in my eye.
Not giving a fuck whether I live or die.
Swallow my pride with a sleeping pill and two shots of rum.
After what happened the night before I promised I'd be done.

Cry myself to sleep, or until I get a grasp of this wealth.
No one really gives a fuck if you make a fool of yourself.
I need to take advantage of the good times.
Not the pointless nursery rhymes.
Its the love from my friends; old and new.
To keep my upright and doing the things I do.

Song of the week ;D

In my opinion one of the best bands ever(:

I swear drunk I'm not officer...

So, I haven't been blogging lately. Some shit has been going on but since it is Sunday I will post the song of the week and start putting more posts up. Hopefully of some songs or just random thoughts.

Anyways, how was your New Years? Mine was most definitely crazy. I was back in Monterey for a solid four days (New Years occurred on the third). My New Years may have resulted with me puking my ass off and barely remembering anything but once I regained most of my consciousness it was all good. Waking up with your bra and pants undone is a bit strange though. Luckily nothing happened. Moments after waking up this really awesome guy checked in on me and let me go sleep in his bed with him. As I climbed under the covers looking and smelling like shit, I felt so much better. We stayed up until four in the morning just talking. It was extremely nice and he is a really great guy. I hope you guys stayed safe and had a good one!

Much Love,